Customary marriage in the Bamileke land / Mariage coutumier au pays Bamilékés [Black History Month]

This month I called my friend Medye from the association Fesakam e.V. to tell us more about her country the Cameroon. This time, she was helped by her husband to explain a tradition that still goes on in Cameroon and other African countries: the customary marriage and the dot ceremony.
Ce mois-ci j'ai encore fait appel à mon amie Medye, de l'association Fesakam e.V., pour qu'elle nous raconte un peu son pays d'origine, le Cameroun. Cette fois, elle a été aidée de son mari pour transmettre une tradition qui perdure encore de nos jours au Cameroun et dans d'autres pays d'Afrique: le mariage coutumier et la cérémonie de la dot. 

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1- The customary marriage / Le mariage coutumier

In Cameroon, and in some other African countries, the customary marriage is required, particularly for the Bamilekes (ethnies in the West of Cameroon). Generally, the man has to come to his beloved parents' house to dot her. The step of the dot shows that the two lovebirds agree on a wedding and on living together.
Au Cameroun, et comme dans d'autres pays africains, le mariage coutumier est de rigueur, en particulier chez les Bamilékés { Ethnies de l'ouest du Cameroun }.En général c'est à l'homme de venir doter sa dulcinée chez la famille de cette dernière. L'étape de la dot montre déjà l'accord des deux tourtereaux et leur désir de vouloir vivre ensemble.

1st step: telling the parents.
1ère étape: L'annonce aux parents.

The young woman tells her parents that she had met someone and would like to spend her life with him. Together, they set a date so that the suitor can introduce himself to the hs future in-laws. This step is oftenly called "knocking at the door". It's usely a intimate appointment (the future husband can come with one or two friends and a few family members), just to make contact and to allow the father of the bride-to-be to ask some tricky questions to his probable son-in-law. If the parents are not satisfied after that evening, they won't be another visits.
La fille annonce  à ses parents qu'elle a rencontré quelqu'un et aimerait faire sa vie avec ce dernier. Ensemble  ils trouvent une date pour que le prétendant  vienne se  présenter aux parents de la future mariée. Cette étape est communément appelée “cogner à la porte“. Cette séquence se déroule généralement dans un cadre intime {le futur marié peut être accompagné par un ou deux amis et quelques membres de la famille}, c'est juste une façon de faire le contact et surtout de permettre au père de la futur mariée de poser des questions pièges au futur marié afin de le "jauger". Si les parents ne sont pas satisfaits après cette soirée, il n'y aura plus de prochaines visites.

Medye au centre avec ses beaux-parents.
Medye with her in-laws.

2nd step: Telling about the dot to the whole family.
2ème étape:  l'annonce de la dot à toute la grande famille.

Meanwhile, the lovebirds chosed a day for their wedding. And more importantly, the young suitor gained enough money to dot his bride, so that the mother of the girl can tell about the ceremony to the women of the family and at the women's meetings she goes to insure their help (cooking, singing, dancing during the party) and liven up the party.
The father of the girl does the same with the men and during his weekly or monthly meetings.
Entre temps, nos petits tourtereaux  ont pu sélectionner un jour favorable pour leur union. Surtout dès que le jeune prétendant a assez amassé d'argent pour pouvoir enfin doter sa dulcinée, la mère de la future mariée est chargée d'annoncer le mariage aux femmes de la famille et aux réunions de femmes auxquelles elle participe pour solliciter leur soutien {aide pour la cuisine, chants et danses traditionnelles} et pour rendre la fête très animée .

Le père de la future mariée fera de même avec les hommes de la famille et lors de ses différentes réunions hebdomadaires ou bien mensuelles. 

The parents of the girl, her uncles and aunts will write a list of things that the family of the young man will have to give the day of the dot. It's often bags of salt, of rice, red oil cans, goats, sheeps and mostly money. This list is not the same in every families. If the family of the future husband is rich, it will be a longer list and the number of aunts and uncles asking will grow too.

Les parents de la future mariée et ses oncles et tantes des côtés paternel et maternel  rédigeront une liste de choses que la famille du futur marié donnera à la famille de la futur mariée le jour de la dot. Il s'agit très souvent de sacs de sel, sacs de riz, bidons d'huiles rouges, des chèvres, moutons et surtout d une somme d'argent. Cette liste n'est pas toujours la même dans toutes les familles. Si la famille du futur marié a beaucoup d'argent, il est clair qu'elle sera très longue et le nombre de tantes et oncles va augmenter. 

Ne pas déranger la cuisson!
Don't disturb the cooking!

3rd step: the day of the traditional wedding.
3ème étape: le jour du mariage traditionnel.

The day before the event, the women have started to cook to produce some typical and traditional dishes, clean the house, etc and the men have looked out for the drinks.
La veille de ce jour si spécial, les femmes se sont attelées à la cuisine pour concocter des plats typiquement traditionnels, nettoyer la maison, et les hommes se sont plutôt occupés de tout ce qui est boissons. 

I wan to remeber you that the dot happens in the family'house of the bride-to-be. The groom is accompanied by his family and friends, and more important with an uncle who will play the role of spokesman toward the family of the bride. On the bride side, there's also an uncle who will play such a role (only men play this role). Everyone is seated in the living room or in the house courtyard, the spokesman of the groom stands up and asks for the floor... And here begins the crucial part of the evening and my favorite. I will explain it with a dialogue.

Je tiens encore a préciser que la dot se passe dans la famille de la futur mariée. Le futur marié est accompagné de sa famille et d'amis, et surtout d'un oncle qui jouera le rôle de porte-parole auprès de la famille de la futur mariée. Et du côté de la famille de la future mariée, il y a aussi un oncle qui jouera un tel rôle {ce rôle est toujours attribué aux hommes}. Tous assis au salon { cela peut être aussi être dans la cour de la maison }, le porte-parole du marié se lève et demande la parole...  Et là, commence la partie cruciale de la soirée et ma préférée.  Je vous la raconte sur forme de dialogue. 

Spokesman of the groom (SG): Good evening to the assembly, good evening my friend. i am here tonight because I need an engine to crush my corn. As I'm already quite old, I have not enough strengh to do it on my own.
Porte-parole du marié (PPHomme): Bonsoir l'assemblée, bonsoir mon ami. Je suis ici chez toi ce soir parce que j'ai besoin d'une machine pour écraser mon maïs. Comme je suis déjà très vieux, je n'ai plus assez de force pour le faire moi-même. 

Spokesman of the bride (SB): And someone told you that I sell these engines to crush corn here???
Porte-parole de la future mariée (PPFemme): Et on t'a dit que je vend les machines  pour écraser le mais ici???

SG: My friend, I know you have a beautiful engine here. I have seen it yesterday when I walked in front of your courtyard.
PPH: Mon ami, je sais que tu as une très belle machine ici. Je l'ai vu encore hier juste quand je passais devant ta cour.

SB: My friend, I just told that I don't sell these engines here. Humm... You said you saw it yesterday?
PPF.  Mon ami, je viens juste de te dire que je ne vend pas de machine chez moi.  Humm... Tu dis l'avoir vu hier cette machine?

SG: Yes of course, it was just here in the courtyard, this engine.
PPH: Oui bien sûr, elle était la juste devant ta cour, cette machine.

SB: Humm... ok, it's serious business. [He calls the mother of the bride and she comes to sit with them] Ma, this man that you see here seated has came to look for an engine to crush his corn, and said he saw one yesterday evening in the courtyard of this house.
PPF: Humm... ok l'affaire devient sérieuse.  [Il appele la mère de la jeune fille et celle-ci vient se joindre à eux au salon]  Maman, ce monsieur que tu vois assis là, est venu cherché une machine pour l'aider a écraser son maïs, et dit l'avoir vu encore hier soir devant la cour de la maison.

The mother answers: I have here an engine for crushing the corn, perhaps he's speaking about this one? Wait, I'm going to look for it.
The mother of the bride comes back holding an "engine" and ask the groom's spokesman: Is it this one you're talking about?
La mère répond: J'ai une machine à écraser le maïs là, peut-être il parle de cette machine? Attend, je vais aller la chercher.

La mère de la mariée revient en tenant par la main une "machine"  et demande au porte-parole du marié : C’est de celle-ci donc vous parlez ?

The spokesman for the groom is rather surprised, and a bit amused he answers: No, I need someone to help me with the corn crushing machine, to make my couscous.
Le porte-parole du marié est surpris, et un peu amusé il répond : Non, j’ai besoin  d’une personne qui va aider avec la machine à écraser le maïs pour faire mon coucous.

The mother retorts: It's not the machine anymore you want, it's now the person!
La mère de la futur mariée rétorque : Ce n’est plus la machine que tu veux, c’est maintenant la personne!

SG: Yes Ma. I need a woman, and news are spreading in the village that you have a kind and beautiful daughter. It's exactly this one I need!
PPH : Oui Maman. J’ai besoin d’une femme, et la nouvelle circule dans tout le village que tu as une très belle et tendre fille. C’ est exactement celle-là qu’il me faut !

SB takes back the front place and says: In that case my friend, I have many daughters. You will have to look for the one you're talking about between all of them, be careful not to make a mistake!
PPF reprend la parole en disant : Dans ce cas, mon ami, j’ai beaucoup de filles. Tu devras chercher entre toutes mes filles celle dont  tu parles, attention à ne pas te tromper !

A few minutes later women coverted in a "veil" ( from head to toes) appear. The groom's spokesman has to choose, between all the girls, the one the groom loves, without  mistake. If he points out the wrong one, he will have to pay a penalty because it's considered as a deceit. Quite often, the bride is not even in the group of girls. it's just a way to make the evening more entertaining, with small games, and give the bride's family the money (the dot) for each failure.
Quelques minutes plus tard apparaissent des femmes toutes voilées des pieds à la tête à l’aide d’un pagne. Le porte-parole du marié doit, parmi ces filles, choisir celle qu’aime le jeune homme sans se tromper. Si jamais il pointe la mauvaise personne, alors il devra payer une amende car cela est considéré comme tromperie. Très souvent dans le lot, la future mariée ne s’y trouve pas. C’est juste une façon de faire durer la soirée, avec des petits jeux, surtout qu’à chaque jeux la famille du mariée doit donner de l’argent à la famille de la mariée (pour chaque étape ratée), celle de la dot.

After the games, the number and duration previously established by the two families, the mother of the bride and other people she has chosen go in search of the bride and bring her back where the meeting take place. Everybody  is happy and shouts joyfully. Dancing and drinking are allowed. the two spokesmen write freehandly a wedding act, that will be signed by the spouses and their parents. And to finish off and consolidate the union, the young married couple have to partake in a kola nut and drink palm wine (a traditional white wine). The man receive more parts of the kola nut to symbolize his preeminence in the new home.
Après ces jeux dont chaque famille a établi le nombre selon sa disponibilité en temps et en argent, la mère de la future mariée et des personnes qu’elle a choisi au préalable vont chercher la future épouse et la ramène là où a lieu la réunion. Tout le monde est content et lance des cris de joie. On peut boire et danser.  Les deux porte-paroles rédigent un acte de mariage à mainlevée qui doit être signé par les parents et les époux. Et pour finir en beauté  et consolider leur union,  les mariés doivent partager une tête de kola et boire du vin de palme { vin blanc  traditionnel }. L’homme reçoit le plus grand nombre de quartiers de kola pour ainsi symboliser sa supériorité dans le foyer.

A few hours later, some women from the groom family have the duty to "bridenap" the young bride, because she has to leave her family house without someone from her family seeing her. The party continues without the new spouses...

Après quelques heures, certaines femmes de la famille du marié sont chargées d’enlever la jeune épouse, car elle doit quitter la maison familiale sans que personne de sa famille ne s’en aperçoive. La fête continue sans nos tourtereaux...

2/ The importance of the dot in the Bamileke land / L'importance de la dot au pays Bamilékés:

During our ancestors' time, there were no townhall, administrative registration, etc, so the only way to show everyone  that someone was married, it was the dot ceremony. The woman who has been doted "belonged" to her husband. He could do whatever he wanted with her.
A l'époque de nos ancêtres il n' y avait pas d'état civil, de mairie et tout le reste, donc le seul moyen de faire comprendre à tous qu'un tel ou un autre était marié, ce n était que par la dot. La femme qui a été dotée "appartenait" a son mari. Celui-ci pouvait faire d'elle ce qu'il voulait.

The children born from this union, especially the boys, can succeed the thron owned by their father.
Les enfants nés de cette union, et surtout les garçons, pourront succéder au trône de leur père.

The woman when she dies has the right to be buried on the lands of her husband.
La femme lors de son décès a le droit d être enterrée sur les terres de son mari.

PS: The dot is considered, originally, as a symbolic gesture in the Bamileke land.
PS: La dot est considérée à l'origine, au pays Bamilékés, comme un geste symbolique.

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I thank Medye and her husband (who is from the Bamileke) to make us discover an ancestral tradition. They didn't have a customary marriage, but she would like one day to have such a fest...

Je remercie Medye et son mari (qui est du pays Bamiléké) pour nous avoir fait découvrir une tradition ancestrale. Eux-même n'ont pas eu de mariage coutumier, mais elle aimerait bien un jour avoir une telle fête...

I have made some researchs, I have remarked that sadly the dot, which once permitted an economic balance within the village or tribe, has became a way to get rich and sell to the highest bidder the young women. Some families have forgotten what the dot symbolized and only think about what they will "gain" (egoïsm before the community): they replace a goat, the rice or the oil by technologic products or extravagant demands (article in French)... Undermining the feelings of the young lovebirds. Those who can't pay these frivolities are turned away... That's why many young people don't follow the tradition anymore to avoid the obstacles and live together before the dot is fulfilled, or just marry civilly.
J'ai fait quelques recherches, et je me suis rendu compte que malheureusement la dot, qui autrefois permettait une certaine balance économique entre les familles d'un village ou d'une tribu, est devenue un moyen de s'enrichir et de vendre au plus offrant les jeunes filles. Des familles ont oublié ce que représente la dot et ne pensent plus qu'à ce qu'elles vont "gagner" (l'égoïsme avant le bien de la communauté villageoise): on remplace la chèvre, les sacs de riz ou les pots d'huile par des produits technologiques ou des demandes extravagantes... Au détriment bien sûr des sentiments des jeunes gens et des jeunes filles. Car ceux qui ne peuvent payer les frivolités de la liste sont éconduits... C'est pourquoi de très nombreux jeunes se détournent de cette tradition pour éviter les empêchements familiaux financiers et vivent en concubinage avant que la dot ne soit amassée ou bien se marient  uniquement civilement.

I have found some articles talking about the Bamileke, the kola nut or palm wine, but the ones I liked the most where in French... See below.

Vous trouverez ici, un autre témoignage de cette pratique du mariage coutumier chez les Bamilékés. Et si vous voulez voir plus d'infos sur les noix de kola dans les traditions africaines... ou bien sur la fabrication du vin de palme, ces deux liens vous intéresseront. Et pour avoir un aperçu plus large de la culture Bamileke, c'est ici.

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This post is part of the Black History Month series on Multicultural Kid Blogs. Be sure to visit the main page for the full schedule and to link up your own posts about sharing Black History Month with kids! And of course, don't forget to enter our amazing giveaway:

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The Importance of the Mother Language... told in different languages.

Tomorrow will be International Mother Language Day, an event created in 1999 by the UNESCO and held for the first time on the 21st February 2000. Today a conference is held at UNESCO headquarters. On their website, you can find many informations about their programs to developp education in the local languages and preserve the culture of the people where they live.

I'm quite proud, and at the same time a bit nervous, to be the last one of our group of bloggers who have promoted this event these last 30 days... The topic for today's blog post is "the Importance of Mother Language", and as I live in a city where many different nationalities and ethnies live (Oberursel, near Frankfurt, Germany), I had the idea of asking people (neighbors, friends and fellow bloggers) what they think about their Mother Language.

I asked them two questions: "Why do you love your Mother Language? What is so important for you about it?" As I was a bit busy, I didn't have time to record some people I know speaking Macedonian, Farsi, Turkish, Lingala, Hungarish, Croatian, Japanese and so on... 

Of course, you dear readers, you can also participate! In the comment section at the end of the post, you can share your thoughts!

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As I have started to receive the answers, I recognize a patern in them. They all speak about their family and the bond their language has with their heart. What links us to the languages we speak since birth/childhood, is something more profound than just a knowledge, a set up of the mind. It comes from the deepest part of who we are, our "core". This article in the Fountain Magazine, issue of July/August 2010: Mother Tongue: the language of Heart and Mind explains it fairly well.

As a French, having learnt French from birth, I can't phantom a day when I wouldn't be able to express myself in French. Of course, I love to speak / read / write in English (like right now) and I have developped a strong bond to this language, but French (and the culture attached to it) is a part of me so intricatly wooven in my spirit, my soul and my body, that I can't reject it or forget it. All the other languages I'm learning or I will learn, they will add facets to my personnality and my knowledge, but they won't change who I am.

Sometimes, languages ARE LOST... Not only because people stop using them, but also because the population speaking it "died out". The Map of Native American Tribes in their own languages Mr Aaron Carapella is putting together is both a ressource and a reminder that many Native American cultures have disappear. Civilizations can end, but what is worse is that no one remember them or systematicly and willingly "forget" them from historical records.

In a world were communication is "easier" on a wide scale, and a handful of languages is intensively used in this globalization, I am not the only one who wishes for a more multicultural life: multilingualism, understanding of other cultures, preservation of the patrimoine, etc. 

With the insights given by the following men and women, may we see the beauty of the human diversity. May we protect and speak, write, share our mother language(s), as much as all the other languages we have learned along our life journey.

The "Russian soul" was quite receptive at my plea, and I have three russian speakers who have shared their love of their language. It seems to me that those speaking Russian since birth enjoy their languages very much, and are proud of the culture around it.

Anna blogs at russianstepbystepchildren.com

Raising a trilingual child
Galina has started an initiative to help families to find a playdate in their mother tongue
 (here the website). 

 creativeworldofvarya.com

For English speaker since birth, it is both a great gift and a disavantage. When I talk to friends coming from USA or UK, they explain me their struggle. They know how English is "talking over the world", and it makes life easy for them when they have to move overseas. However, the lack of enthusiasm for learning a new culture (language and way of life of other nations) in their youth (and it stills goes on for the teenagers nowadays) has handicaped them for social interactions.

Of course, all English speakers are not monolingual!  I know an educated and amazing woman who speaks English, French, Norwegian, German, and Italian. And she's not keen on stopping learning about the world and its diversity. 

Just thinking about my friends who came from English speaking countries in Africa as first generation migrants or second ones... They have learned in their childhood both English and the local language or dialect. And now, they have added one or two more! However, some tend to struggle to keep their African language alive and pass it on their children. The same can be said for Asiastisch and "Tribal languages" of South America...

lingolised.eu

We will have now a travel across the globe, starting with Latvia.

 Let the Journey Begin www.letthejourneybegin.eu

Here comes Spanish with a Mexicana woman (bilingual Spanish and French):

Traveling to Asia, we have Persian:

Further East, we encounter Korean:

Catalan is a language I have never learned in my youth but I have heard it everyday... I understand it quite well when someone speaks it or when I read a text but can't speak it. I'm sad it's the case because it was my grand-father's language... but as I have never met him (he died when my mom was young), my mother and grand-mother couldn't pass it on to me... 

Poland is next with Olga!

The European Mama

We will have now a beautiful mix of Scandinavian languages, learned as a child by Rita:

www.multilingualparenting.com

Time for the 4th most spoken language in the world: Portuguese. I want to thank Daniela for her meaningful and beautiful answer.

Click on the picture to see it bigger!

This language is the most spoken as mother language in the world. Can you guess which one is it before scrolling to the end of the picture?

African languages, like I said earlier, are often learned at the same time as one of the European languages of the countries who colonised them in the 19th and 20th Century: Portuguese, French, English, Dutch, etc. Some are mostly oral languages and other can be written. But it doesn't mean many can write them. Education is rarely provided in these languages... It's why I love so much the programm of UNESCO. They try to help children to be scolarized in the main language and also in their local one (as much as possible).

My friend Jose is from Angola and lives in Germany. His mother tongues are Kiokue and Portuguese. He explained me that those are "his identity, his cultural instrument" and that writing african languages is sometimes quite difficult because of the phonetic. His use of Kiokue is essentially oral. Jose is also fluent in French and German, but don't start speaking English with him! You would make him loose his bright smile!

Ama is bilingual from birth in English and Twi. She lives in France (and had learned French). She can't write perfectly Twi, the alphabet is a bit complex, but told me she loves to use it orally at home with her children. Twi is for her a pictorial language, full of funny expression.

I will finish with Ute, who is a perfect bilingual since childhood in two european languages and is proof that those who say that learning several languages at the same time is "armful for the kids' brains" (one of the numerous myths about bilingualism...). She lives in the Netherland and blogs at expatsincebirth.com

Deutsch ist die Sprache meiner Familie, meiner Eltern und derer Vorfahren. Ich habe sie erst spät lieben gelernt, doch finde sie immer faszinierender und schätze den unermesslichen Wert des literarischen Erbgutes (German is the language of my family, of my parents and their ancestors. I learned to appreciate/love it quite late, but I find it more and more fascinating and I truly appreciate the immense value of the literary patrimony)

Deutsch ist wichting für mich, weil es meine Eltern und meine Kinder verbindet. (German is important for me because it connects my parents and my children)

L'italiano è la lingua del mio cuore. E' la lingua che ho scelto spontaneamente di parlare con i miei figli sin dall'inizio. E' la lingua delle mie emozioni e delle mie riflessioni più spontanee e profonde (Italian is the language of my heart. It's the language I chose spontaneously to talk with my children since the beginning. It's the language of my most spontaneous and profound/deep emotions)

L'italiano ha e avrà sempre un ruolo predominante nella mia vita perché è la lingua in cui riesco ad esprimere i miei pensieri più profondi e più accurati. Nonostante la situazione linguistica nella nostra famiglia sia cambiata rispetto all'inizio, considero l'italiano la lingua che più mi appartiene. Il fatto che la condivido con le persone a me più care la fa ancor più preziosa. (Italian is the most dominant language in my life because I can express my deepest and most accurate thoughts. Although the linguistic situation changed within our family (compared to the beginning), I consider Italian the language that pertains me the most. The fact that I share it with the most important people in my life makes it even more precious)

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I wish you all a fantastic International Mother Language Day! And don't forget to share your love of your Mother tongue in the comments!

For more article about this event, search for the hashatg #IMLD!

Link Up Party: Birthday Theme Party for Kids / Goûters d'anniversaire à thème pour enfants

My first Link Up Party! I'm quite thrilled to do it on the topic 

"Birthday Theme Party for Kids". 

If you have a post that fits with this subject, please share it at the end of my post, using the formular you will find in clicking on "link up" (the small blue frog below). Every languages accepted! But beware, the content has to be kid friendly. Add the links until March 20th, 2015.

Ma première Link Up Party! Je suis très heureuse de pouvoir la faire sur le sujet 

"Goûters d'anniversaire à thème pour enfants". 

Si vous avez un article correspondant, vous pouvez le partager à la fin du mien, en utilisant le formulaire qui s'ouvre en cliquant sur "Link up" (la petite grenouille bleue en bas). Toutes les langues sont les bienvenues! Mais attention, le contenu doit être approprié pour des enfants. Ajoutez vos liens jusqu'au 20 mars 2015.

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 "Detectives Preschoolers" Birthday Party 
Fête d'anniversaire "Détectives juniors"

Voilà. Gabriel has turned six. And being his parents' son, he was decided to invite lots of friends and prepare a good snack and fun activities. We had to choose a theme, and let me tell you it was NOT easy! He wanted to do the same as his best girl friend Nalu about dinosaurus... Luckily, I have some tricks up my sleeves and succeed to point him to one of his favorite hobbies: detective stories! So, after Christmas I looked for ideas and supplies to have a detective party for preschoolers. Sally Bollywood (one of his favorite detective cartoons) had the honor to be featured on the invitation for the party. My color ink cartridge died a few days before the fest, so I couldn't print some of the decorations I wanted. I didn't seem to damage the mood of my son nor his friends...

Voilà. Gabriel a eu six ans. Et en bon fils à ses parents, il a tenu à inviter pleins de copains / copines et à préparer un bon goûter et des activités amusantes. Il a fallu définir un thème, ce qui ne fut pas aisé puisqu'il voulait aussi les dinosaures comme sa meilleure amie Nalu... Heureusement, j'ai plus d'un tour dans mon sac et j'ai réussi à orienter sa réflexion sur un thème qu'il adore: les histoires de détective! Donc depuis les vacances de Noël, j'ai cherché le matériel nécessaire pour une fête d'anniversaire "détective". Sally Bollywood (l'un de ses dessins animés préférés pour ce qui est des histoires de détective) a eu l'honneur d'être présente sur l'invitation. Ma cartouche d'encre couleur s'étant vidée avant la fête, je n'ai pas pu imprimer les décorations que je souhaitais, mais cela n'a pas semblé embêter plus que ça mon fils et ses camarades...

The invitations / Les invitations:

The most difficult thing for me was the fact that I would have to speak German with the children. I stuttered many times, trying to find my words. I asked Jo for help, but regarding the vocabulary spoken by the police, he was totally lost! So well... We did what we could. Considering how it went (the both times), I am rather proud of myself. The challenge was there and I didn't let myself be overwhelmed by it. I tackled it with the best humor I had...

La chose la plus difficile pour moi fut le fait que j'ai du parler allemand à ces enfants. J'ai bafouillé plus d'une fois en essayant de trouver les bons mots. J'ai bien sûr demandé de l'aide à Jo, mais pour ce qui est du vocabulaire policier, il était complètement perdu! Donc bon... Nous avons fait du mieux possible. Considérant comment ça s'est passé (les deux fois), je suis plutôt fière de moi. Le défi était bien présent mais je ne me suis pas laissé dépasser par lui. Je l'ai relevé avec humour...

We did several things during the afternoon, and with all that happened and what I had to managed, I totally forgot to take pictures! I'm sad I have no pictures to remember this party. / L'après-midi a été découpé comme suit (J'avais tellement à faire et j'étais un peu fatiguée que j'ai oublié de prendre des photos. je suis triste de ne pas avoir de souvenirs de ce moment important):

1/ Looking for clues in 4 games. (2pm-3:15pm) The basic idea was that two packets of sweets had been stolen before the party. We have to find them back, and to do so we have to investigate!

1/ La recherche d'indices en 4 jeux. (14h - 15h15) Idée de base: deux paquets de bonbons ont été volé avant l'arrivée des enfants! Il faut les retrouver, et pour cela mener l'enquête!

• "Foot or handprints": each kid draw the shape of his/her feet or hands on a paper, that they will take back home at the end of the party. Of course, it's inspired from real police investigations...   "Les empreintes de pas ou de main": chacun dessine le contour de son pied ou sa main sur une feuille, qu'il emportera à la fin de la fête. Activité inspirée des enquêtes policières...

• "The search party": a big carboard box, full of old newspaper and bubble wrap + a small toy placed in it. On the count of three, dig in! The children have fun in digging out the paper and make it fly in the room... (and we have to put all back in for the next kid) and of course in finding it the quickest as possible.    "La fouille": un grand carton, plein de papier journal et de papier bulle à l'intérieur, et un petit objet glissé au milieu. A trois, plongez! Les enfants s'amusent à envoyer le papier voler dans toutes les directions... (et on doit remettre dedans pour que chaque enfant ait sa chance) et bien sûr être le plus rapide à retrouver l'objet en question.

• "Following the trail": in Gabriel's bedroom, I used a ball of wool to create a kind of maze. A bit like Ariane's thread, they had to follow it in the dark (only a small nighlight). The trail went through a tunnel, between two chairs, on the matress, etc to go back to the door. For those afraid of the dark, I helped them with a flashlight.    "La filature": dans la chambre de Gabriel, j'ai utilisé une pelote de laine pour créer une sorte de labyrinthe. C'est un peu le fil d'Ariane à suivre dans une pièce sans lumière, juste une petite veilleuse. Le parcours passait dans un tunnel, entre deux chaises, sur le matelas et revenait à la porte. Les enfants ont bien aimé et ceux qui avaient peur du noir, je les aidais à la lampe torche manuelle.

• "We found the candy!": well, it was high time to look for the stolen sweets. A simple game of "hot or cold", with a few treacheries (for example, the other kids were telling the gamer wrong directions...)  and many laughters.    "On a retrouvé les bonbons!": enfin, il était temps  de chercher les bonbons volés. Un simple jeu "tu refroidis, tu chauffes", avec pas mal de triche (les autres enfants aidaient /embêtaient celui à qui c'était le tour) et beaucoup de rires.

2/ Free play (10 minutes). Just the time to finish to put everything on the table. And for the young guests to go to the toilets, wash their hands, run a bit, etc.

2/ Jeux libres (10 minutes), le temps de mettre le goûter sur la table. Et puis surtout que les enfants se dégourdissent un peu les jambes, fassent un tour aux toilettes, etc

3/ Snack time: (depending on the hunger of the guests, it can be as long as 40 minutes) I was so busy the days prior, that my husband and I hadn't had time to bake a cake. However, the numerous home made "crêpes" were greatly enjoyed by all. As much as the chocolates and candy (yes, the ones stolen...)

3/ Le goûter: (selon l'appétit et la vitesse des invités, peut durer de 20 minutes à 40 minutes) J'étais tellement occupée les jours précédents, que je n'ai pas eu le temps de faire un gâteau. Par contre la pile de crêpes "maison" a été largement appréciée par les enfants comme les adultes. Tout comme les chocolats et les bonbons (oui, qui avaient volé).

4/ Free time after the snack. Gabriel's bedroom was overrun and transformed one half in a fortress (the high bed) and the other half in a gym area (the matress on the floor + houla hop + pillows...). Hubby and I took turns to look after the band of "misfits".

After some time, the kids had the idea of making me play "monster attacks". In short, I became a monster wanting to feed on children... But there were rules! Under the table in the diningroom, it was the "safehouse", no monster allowed. The monster had to touch three times a kid for him/her to be eaten. And each child had a jocker: an imaginary garlic head thrown at the beast. Let me tell you that this jocker had been greatly overused! After 15 minutes, I was spent. I let (forced?) Jo to be the monster. Meanwhile, Mommy layed down on the couch (pregnant woman privilege, nah!).

When it was his turn to be out of breath, we played the game of the Statue. You certainly know this game in which you have to dance until the music is stopped and don't move a muscle. I laughed so much when one of the boy was making a pirouette and had to stop mid air... Yes, I can be quite devilish... hihihi... 

4/ Après s'être régalés avec le goûter, les enfants ont eu un temps de jeu libre. La chambre de Gabriel a été envahie et transformée en forteresse (le lit en hauteur de Gabriel) ou en aire de gymnastique (le matelas par terre + cerceau). Mon mari et moi nous nous relayions pour surveiller le groupe.

Au bout d'un moment, les gamins ont trouvé amusante l'idée de me faire jouer au "monstre". Bref, je suis devenue le monstre qui voulait manger les enfants. Attention, il y avait des règles! Dessous la table de la salle-à-manger, c'est la "maison", je n'y avais pas accès. Le monstre doit toucher trois fois un enfant pour qu'il soit mangé. Et chaque enfant a droit à un jocker: me présenter une tête d'ail imaginaire devait faire fuir le monstre. Ce jocker a été largement sur-employé si vous voulez mon avis... Après 15 minutes, j'étais lessivée. J'ai forcé Jo à prendre le relais. Le monstre "maman" s'est reposé sur le canapé pendant ce temps-là (prérogative de femme enceinte, nah!).

Quand mon mari a été à bout de souffle, une petite partie du jeu de la Statue les a occupé. Vous connaissez tous ce jeu: on met de la musique et dès qu'on presse "Pause", tout le monde doit devenir une statue. J'ai bien ri en voyant l'un des enfants faire une pirouette et se retrouver à devoir l'arrêter en plein vol... Oui, je suis parfois "diabolique". Hihihi...

5/ Craft activity (and calming) at 5pm: paper lantern (here the DIY), wizard wands, binoculars made of paper or toilet rolls, or whatever goes in their heads. For the end of the afternoon, it was a "quiet" activity before the parents came to pick them up between 5:30 and 6pm. They also could bring something home a self-made creation.

5/ Activité créative (et apaisante) dès 17h: créer des lanternes en papier, des baguettes de magicien, des jumelles ou toutes autres choses qu'il leur passe par la tête. Pour la fin de l'après-midi, cela a permis aux enfants de se calmer avant l'arrivée des parents. Ils ont également tous pu repartir avec une création personnelle.

I have to confess that when the parents came to pick up their children, my husband and I were happy to have some quiet time... Of course we had to clean up and pick up Sophie at a one of our friend's house. I kept all the supplies for the activities, because one week later, we did it again with Gabriel's friends from our Church ward (+ Sophie!). I'm rather glad we have just only one birthday each year... Well, in March it will be Sophie's turn. However, the atmosphere should be a bit quieter.

J'avoue que lorsque les parents sont venus chercher nos jeunes invités, mon mari et moi étions heureux d'avoir un peu de calme... Il a bien sûr fallu ranger et nettoyer l'appartement. Et aller récupérer Sophie qu'une amie gardait. J'ai gardé précieusement le matériel pour les activités. En effet, c'était rebelote le Samedi suivant avec les copains/copines de la paroisse + Sophie! Heureusement qu'on a son anniversaire qu'une fois par an... Enfin, en Mars ce sera le tour de Sophie. L'ambiance devrait toutefois être plus reposante.

And you, which topic did you use for your kids' birthday party? Or which one will you choose this year?

Et vous, quel thème avez-vous utilisé pour les anniversaires de vos enfants? Ou lesquels envisagez-vous pour cette année?